Types of Exits
Not all departures are the same. Here are a few common scenarios and the nuances of each:
Voluntary Resignation: This is when a staff member chooses to leave (for a better opportunity, due to family issues, relocation, etc.). It's important not to take this personally. Your role is to ensure clean documentation and emotional closure. That means: get the resignation in writing if possible (even a WhatsApp message confirming their last day), discuss their notice period and whether it will be worked or waived, and genuinely wish them well. Even if you're sad or inconvenienced, congratulate them if it's a better opportunity. They should feel they can leave without burning a bridge. Also, ask if they can help train someone in their remaining time (most will gladly do so if you've been good to them).
Non-Performance: This is when you initiate the exit due to underperformance or safety lapses that haven't improved (despite feedback and warnings, as we discussed in Chapter 9). It's never easy, but sometimes necessary. Handle it with a structured exit that is factual and fair. That means clearly documenting the reasons (in writing for your records, and explained calmly to them). No surprises: ideally, prior warnings or Performance Improvement Plans were given, so this conversation isn't out of the blue. For example, "As we discussed in prior meetings, the safety protocols were not followed, and we've decided it's best to end the working relationship." Keep the tone firm but respectful. Focus on facts (for example, dates of incidents), not personal attacks. Ensure they receive any due pay and a polite send-off. This approach maintains your credibility with remaining staff — they see that even firings are handled professionally, not arbitrarily or with humiliation.
Mutual Agreement: Sometimes, it's a gentle understanding that it's not the right fit. Perhaps the household needs have changed (you no longer require a live-in nanny as kids grew older), or the staff isn't happy but also not at fault. In such cases, you align on a respectful closure. "It seems this role isn't ideal for you with your college schedule, and we really need someone full-time. Let's part ways kindly." Your role here is to support the transition if possible. That might mean writing them a reference letter, giving a bit more notice or severance than contractually required to help them land on their feet, and emphasising that the parting is amicable. This can also fall under the term "termination by mutual consent," where both sides agree it's for the best. Culturally, this is the easiest to handle if both approach it graciously.
By recognising the type of exit, you can calibrate your process and tone. In all cases, aim to leave the person's dignity intact and the household in clarity.